Today is day 154 without Joel. Friday, October 16, 2009, my first entry in Life Without Joel. Life without Joel is my punnishment. Life Without Joel is my life sentence. Life Without Joel is my life without parole, it is my life without Joel.
I have thought about this project off and on for the past few months. I have struggled with emotional breakdowns and black depression since May 15, the day Joel died. The day my world self destructed. I hope to write my thoughts and happenings here. Hopefully this will help heal my soul and possibly help others in some way too. Joel lived by the motto, "Never Give Up, Never Give In." I hope I can come close to living those words.
Michael,
I’ve just met you on email in the past few days and have read your post here and the article written in your local paper about Joel. As you know I too am looking for answers that are hard to come by, but the little that I know of you and what I have read, you are an honest good natured person and I’m sure your son was proud to have you as a father. I believe that it’s not a measurement of time here but a measurement of character while we are here. From what you told me, it seems as though he met that goal for such a young age. I hope your pain disappears and may the memories live forever.